Keurig

Keurig Presents… “No Filter”
Tag-line: Brutally Honest Coffee.

Everyone has a cousin or an uncle or an old geezer great-aunt that has no filter. Welp - Keurig is here to be that annoying, hate-to-admit-it speaker of truth at the family dinner table that’s here to prove that you (and most people) don’t really like or care about the taste of your coffee - and that’s A OK. Coffee is riding its 3rd wave of light roasts and fancy, hipster coffee shops with a new crop of expensive at-home machines that claim their coffee is barista quality, so we are embracing some hot takes about coffee consumption to convince you that all that stuff doesn’t matter, because in that “gotcha” idgaf world, Keurig can still be king.

Moral of the story: We all know Keurig doesn’t make the best cup of Joe, but who fucking cares? It gets the job done.

Without further ado…

Keurig presents: “NO FILTER”
Tag-line: BRUTALLY HONEST COFFEE

• Spoiler alert: “strong” flavored coffee isn’t “stronger” (it’s just burnt)

• Coffee: the first ingredient to your daily lukewarm milkshake.

• Hello kind sir, would you like some coffee with that milk and sugar?

• ICYMI: Latte art doesn’t make your coffee taste any better.

• Do you really like the taste of coffee? Your # of pumps begs to differ. And we ain’t talking about working out.

• Fifty Bucks says you don’t actually know what espresso is.

• What kind of grinder you got at home? No, that not kind.

• Our machine won’t get your name wrong (because it can’t talk or write).

• Hot take: Does anyone really like coffee? Or are we all just addicted?

• This Machine Kills “coffee snobbery”. Unfortunately for you, my snobbery is immortal.

• Do you prefer the Ethiopian or the Guatemalan? No, we aren’t talking about girls on the Bachelor.